Do you believe in miracles?
I am 34 and a mother to a little boy named Zebedee who is 15 months old.
I gave birth to him on all fours in the kitchen of my home - a renovated 7.5 tonne solar powered horse box - at the foothills of the Alpuharra mountains in Southern Spain. It was a beautiful, mind altering experience and I loved every second of it.
Four months later I found myself back in the uk, diagnosed with Stage four triple negative inflammatory breast cancer and the brca1 gene. With my babe at my boob. The cancer had already spread its wild tentacles to my bones and liver.
I was told there was no cure. "Palliative care" stamped on my file and limited options.
What ensued was a long journey including 6 rounds of FEC T chemotherapy, a near death experience from severe neutropenia, the growth of a large fungating would on my breast, experiments with cannabis oil, turmeric jelly, a million supplements, herbs, bio energetic, homeopathy, infra red light machines and anything else I could get my hands on.
Alongside this my little boy grew up. I had to wean him to goats milk and donated breast milk. I had to allow my husband, friends, family members to sleep with him in their arms instead of mine because I was so exhausted.
Eventually I ended up in a hospice for respite because the cancer got out of control and I felt death looming again.
I was determined not to give up and researched every possible option for treatment outside of the UK. I needed to raise a lot of money so I began making you tube videos about my journey, documenting every horrific step.
The love that poured in from around the world carried me.
And within three weeks I was in a specialist clinic in Istanbul receiving low dose insulin based chemotherapy, vitamin infusions, hyperbaric oxygen, hyperthermia and supplements.
I rapidly began to get better and because I had already faced my own death, I actually feel happier than ever before.
The cancer is now decreasing in my body. I have a healthy liver. My bones are almost free and the wound in my breast is 80% dead tissue.
I am now well enough to travel back and forth between Istanbul and my truck in the East Sussex countryside.
One foot in off grid motherhood and the other in hardcore cancer care. It's a rollercoaster.
If you feel called to help, you can do any or all of the following:
Cancer has given me many gifts.
I know I have a choice.
Fear or love.
What do you choose?